Fitness crazes & NY celebrities

soulcycle

In the old days you used to be able to go into the local store and buy a coke, no questions asked.  To coin a phrase – coke was it.  Now ”Can I get a coke?” is met by “Would you like diet coke, decaffeinated coke or Coke Zero.  Do you want can or bottle?  Plastic or glass?  Big or small?  The other day I went into the supermarket and there were four sizes of coleslaw.  I asked for the large and got the second biggest.  When I queried it the woman behind the counter said “Oh you want the jumbo?” Lord above!!

Thankfully we can rely on exercise to be straight forward. Right?  Wrong!

I get the feeling that some of the producers of new exercise routines are the same marketing geniuses that are working on the next reality program. 

Says marketing executive one to marketing executive two “I know, what about getting a bunch of celebrities no one knows (a beautiful irony) and put them together on an island where they have to sing their marketing pitch to Mark Bouris while cooking on a diving board”. 

Exercise trends seem to be going in the same direction.  How can we cross fertilise as many routines as possible and market it as the newest coolest routine going around.  Of course I’ll need to find a celebrity who is rumoured to have thought about possibly doing part of the routine, to mention in my advertising material.  ‘It’s the new craze everyone is talking about!! I even heard Madonna is doing it!!’

So what are some of these new exercise crazes that are being talked about.  Well firstly let’s start with Piloxing.  Yes it sounds like a contagious illness and when you go to piloxing.com you are met with  ‘Join the latest Hollywood Celebrity fitness craze sweeping the nation!’  If you look at YouTube clips of Piloxing it looks like someone has just cobbled together some dance moves with some muscle toning exercises and asked the class to put on boxing gloves and jab every now and again.  It does look like it would be a good workout but it does look a little silly. 

Barre workout apparently helps an individual achieve a “dancer’s body”.  Yep ridiculously thin, pale and with bad feet?  It combines ballet, yoga and Pilates.  I’m sure this one has been introduced because every woman secretly wants to be a ballerina.  It’s actually a pretty cool idea and some of the exercises are quite challenging but some of them are pretty lame and the barre is completely unnecessary in many exercises but has to be included because it’s the barre workout .   Some add temperature – 105 farenheit because we need more combinations people!!   

Soul cycle is a classic.  It’s a combination of dance and cycling.  Even funnier – sometimes it’s done in the dark.  However, the crazy part is that while you’re peddling you are supposed to intermittently grab some dumbbells and start doing some curls while you peddle.  Now I don’t know about you, but if I saw someone next to me waving a dumbbell above their head while they were on a bike I would be seriously concerned.  I’m sure someone somewhere has a large divert in their head from said dumbbell making its way out of a hand, careering into their noggin.  Dumbbells and bike riding; yep, like eating ice cream with broccoli!  

Surf set classic has people working out on a surf board.  Yep Pilates moves on a surf board.  Nuff said!

But the winner of the silliest workout has to be Pound.  It’s a usual workout with drum sticks.  Now not the type you find at KFC thank fully.  The ones that should remain on the drum kit.  This is pure gimmick.  The presence of drumsticks adds zero to the routine and I think actually get in the way of you really exercising.   

It just goes to show that we love to jump on trends and the newest coolest thing.  It’s human nature.  But it seems even more pervasive now.  I swear if you had been at a pub 10 years ago and said to your mates “I reckon a meat ball and wine bar is a good idea” you would be laughed out of town.  Now there is one.  Seriously I reckon someone would be able to successfully market anything these days as long as they got a few people to use the words “it’s the new craze going around”.  Maybe ice cream and broccoli has legs after all.           

 

 

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